A Tortilla and a Sock

An unlikely pair to find snuggling under the kitchen table.

Unless, of course, you're at my house.

Ten Things I Could (But wouldn't want to) Live Without

1. Curel Lotion
Many of you know how I feel about my lotion.
I'm fully aware that it makes me smell like my Grandma....
I just like it.

2. Maybelline Full and Soft Mascara
I've tried others.
I just keep coming back to this one.

3. Bottled Water
I think should feel badly about this one.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with my tap water.
I just don't like it.

4. Fruit Punch Gatorade
This started out as a craving while I was pregnant with Tyler.
It just never went away.

5. Zest
I like to be fully clean.

6. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers
How did our mothers survive without these?
They are amazing.

7. Bananas
They are my all time favorite fruit.
I eat at least one a day.

8. Flip Flops
I really can't express to you how excited I am for flip flop weather.

9. Snickers
I keep one of these bad boys on hand for emergencies.

10. Special K Fruit and Yogurt
Special K has never let me down.
Never.
I eat it nearly every morning.
It's the best cereal in the world.

Dear Husband... please don't eat my cereal ever again..
Love your wife.

Because my Mom says I need to write these things down....

* During dinner Tyler said, "Aliens drink green milk. I don't like green milk because it turns me into a frog."

* Tyler tripped and fell while he and Tim were walking to preschool. After getting he got up, he said,

                          Ty: I'm mad!

                          Tim: Who are you mad at? Gravity?

* Tyler was playing on the ground next to Jaxen's highchair while he was eating and Jax bent over to look at him and when he smiled a mouth full of partially chewed apple fell out of his mouth onto Tyler's head. Jaxen laughed really hard. 

So did I. 

Tyler did not.

* The other day Tyler was asking me about Jesus. He asked me if Jesus made him. I said yes. He asked me if Jesus made puppies. I said yes. Then he asked if Jesus would make a puppy for him.  Hmmmm... smart kid.  

*  Me: What did you do at recess today?

    Ty: A girl was trying to kiss me!

    Me: Oh no! What did you do??

    Ty: I ran away really fast!

    Me: Good.

    Ty: I only let big girls like you kiss me.

    (Kati, I guess you don't qualify as a "big girl")

* Dear Random Lady,

          Once again, I am so sorry that Tyler threw his sword and it hit you directly between the eyes as you were innocently walking down the street. I am so embarrassed. I can assure you that he lost his sword privileges for a very long time.

          Sincerely,

                 Carlye Morgan

* The other day at the grocery store, Ty spotted Captain Crunch Berry cereal. He wanted it and when I told him no, he started crying and screaming (repeatedly) at the top of his lungs, 

"I want colored poop cereal!" 

   If you don't remember what poop cereal is you can read about that here. People in the store were staring at us like I fed my child feces for breakfast and I just smiled at them like I was having the time of my life (which I wasn't).

* I know I've mentioned my children's pants-less-ness more than once, but I find it amusing that the first thing Ty does when we come home from somewhere is remove his shoes and his pants. He really doesn't think that pants are something we wear in the house.
Oh, but I feel it important to mention that Tim and I do wear pants in the house, despite Tyler's "No Pants in the House" policy.

*Today at church, during sacrament meeting, Ty threw a monumental tantrum because he wanted all of the bread. It was awesome....

*I could hear Jaxen yelling in the next room. He sounded quite distraught, so I went in to check on him. He was grabbing his diaper and yelling at it. Apparently his diaper was full and he really didn't appreciate it.

* "Daddy, why does my cheese sandwich turn into poop after I eat it?" -Ty

The post seemed lonely without a picture...

PS. Why does it seem like a lot of this post was about poop? Sorry about that...
PPS. Jaxen's hair cut pictures coming soon... he looks rather handsome.

Books

I love buying new books.

I like seeing them on the shelf.

I especially like buying new books for my kids.

It adds some variety to our bedtime routine.

I started buying books for Christmas months ago.

Anytime Tyler got a scholastic book order,

or any time I found a good sale,

I bought some.

It wasn't until we started wrapping presents

that I realized just how many I had bought......

We are thoroughly enjoying reading a new book every night.

And I am also enjoying not going to the library.

I am a horrible library patron.

I currently owe the SL County Library $10.72

Did I really blog about a Q-tip??

In hindsight I am realizing that my Q-Tip blog post was by far the lamest excuse of a post ever. It's not to say that I don't have entertaining things to post all over the internet, but I'm lacking the time and creative energy. So, in order to make up for the despicable Q-Tip post, that I'm truly sorry if you took time to read, here are a few pictures that bring joy to my soul. Some of them you may have seen before, although some of them are new....

This would be my mom brushing my 17 year old sister's teeth.

I don't know what it was, but my Grandma thought it was hilarious.

When I was staying at my parents house, Kati dropped a plate and it shattered. It was like it exploded.

Plate pieces were everywhere... including stabbed into the wall.

This is an old one... but it's still funny.

You've seen this one before.

It was taken right as Tyler slipped and fell. Classic.

My Dad and Kati's photo booth picture.

I think it's extraordinary.

I promise, soon I will take the effort to post about something real.
PS. Did I mention that I am home??

What have I been doing??

1. Healing. My bandages are starting to come off and I am decorated in a lovely array of Spiderman Band-Aids.
2. Nursing. Despite my consistent pumping in the hospital, at some point my body decided to stop making milk. So I have been nursing every 1-2 hours to try and get my milk to come back. It's finally back--for the most part.
3. I've been staying at my Mom and Dad's house. Tim had to go back to work and school, and I am not supposed to lift Jax yet so they have been helping me out. I appreciate all of their help, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious to get back home.
4. Jaxen has learned to pull himself up in his crib.
5. Editing. I had to cancel (or reschedule) all of my photography appointments for the last two weeks, but since I was out of commission all of last week, I am still behind.
6. Christmas shopping. Online of course.
7. Butting into my little sister's life. Her drama's are more interesting than mine and her room is right next to mine right now. Easy access to some good gossip. I've also enjoyed borrowing her stuff. She loves it.
8. Sleeping. Even if I don't take pain pills, I am tired.
9. Not decorating for Christmas. My house still has pumpkins out front. I'm not there to see them but it still bothers me.
10. Missing Tim. Since he had to be to school every morning at 7AM he has stayed at our apartment living like a bachelor (don't get any ideas ladies, I may be broken, but I am still his woman). He came and ate lunch with us today. I may or may not have cried a little when he left.
11. We had Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. You can see some pictures here.
12. We had pie at Tim's parents house. There are no pictures of the pie eating festivities.
13. We watched the Utah game with Tim's family. Okay, Tim and my boys watched the Utah/BYU game with Tim's family. I slept in the spare bedroom.
14. I've been getting laughed at. A lot. It seems everything that comes out of my mouth when I am on pain killers is hysterical.Who knew I had a future as a comedian as long as percocet was involved?
15. I've been sleeping with two handsome gentlemen every night. Neither one of them being my husband. I've kept Jax in bed with me to help with the nursing and no matter how much I try to get Tyler to sleep in my little brother, Daniel's, room, he always ends up curled up on my other side.

And since I can't do two posts in a row without any pictures, here's some lovely randoms....

Jax in a box . . . .

Clever, but it's a lie.

That's really Tyler.

I tricked you though, didn't I?

Didn't I????

Congratulations APK!

The world now knows that you were here!

And that you were in a dumpster.

No More Monkey's Jumping on the Bed!

Really?? Really.

Dang Wind

This poor tomato plant has had a hard life.

Car Alarm Remotes are NOT Good Swimmers

The Plan:

-Stuffed Shells for lunch (don't judge us, we have dinner for lunch because Tim works nights).

-Tim goes to work

-Nap/ Quiet Time

-Take the boys swimming with my friend Shannon and her little girl

-Ward Fiesta (which means party in spanish . . haha thanks Annie) at the Bishops house (Salsa - Competition Wahoo!)

-Baths

-Have kids in bed by 8:30

-Edit photos

What really happened:

-We had the stuffed shells and they were delightful.

-Tim goes to work...

-Nap for Jax and (not so) quiet time for Tyler and I.

-I took my boys swimming. They both appreciate a good swim.

-Got in the pool with my keys in my shorts pocket. I didn't realize until they were soaked.

-The water ruined my car alarm remote.

- Left the pool and my alarm/unlock button wouldn't work and I set off my car alarm.

-My car screamed at me for 15 minutes before Shannon came out.

-We all piled into Shannon's car and she drove us home.

-Changed me and my boys into dry clothes.

-Since we had no car seat for Tyler, my sweet neighbor, Kristy, graciously watched my boys while Shannon drove me back to the swimming pool with my spare set of keys.

-Drove home and picked up my boys.

-Fed Jax

-By this time the Ward Party had been going almost an hour and a half... So we missed it. No salsa for me.

-Frozen Chicken Nuggets for dinner (barf).

-Baths

-Kids in bed by 9:30

-Blog about stupid evening.

In the midst of my disasterous evening, I am so very grateful for Shannon and Kristy who helped me tonight. And an understanding husband who didn't get mad when I ruined a rather expensive car remote. . . His words were: "Don't worry, I love you. I'm not mad about the car"

What a peach.

Going Private

After much deliberation, I have decided NOT to make my blog private. I enjoy blog stalkers. I welcome them with open arms. And to be honest, I don't read private blogs nearly as often because :

1. They don't move up in my "blog list" when they post.

2. I have to be signed in to read them.

Sorry but it's true. Not to say that I don't thoroughly enjoy reading your private blogs, cause I do, but it's just not as easy as public blogs.

So please, continue to read. Blog stalk away.

But for all of those villains out there who wish to hunt us down and take away my virtue (bahaha) and my children, please choose another family. There are lots of bloggers out there who have cuter children and bigger boobs.

Thank you.

I got a list of these delightful random thoughts in an email from my friend Kristi. Now, on a normal day I usually delete these frequent forwards (not that I don't appreciate the thought . . .), but today, in an effort to ignore the Nesquick Strawberry powder that I just spilled all over my kitchen floor, I opened it. And read it. And I don't regret it. So I thought I would share a handful of them with you, my friends (also in an effort to ignore the overwhelming mess).

* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my
own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

* I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90
minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the
right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.

* How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die. (Holly . . .)

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.

* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

(My husband does this. I don't understand it. I never will)

* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

* Bad decisions make good stories

* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the
Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.

* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do
to with it.

* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time. every
time...

10 Things

10 Things that Make me Happy today:

1. My kids slept until 9:00 AM!

2. Tyler doesn't call grapes lockers anymore. Now he calls them berries.

3. Ty has the "Pirates Life for me" song stuck in his head and has been singing it all morning.

4. Tim is at the driving range this morning, and will come back in a delightful mood.

5. Jax slept through the night again.

6. The Film festival starts tomorrow! (It's going to be so fun! Go buy your tickets!)

7. I finished some engagements in three days for a couple that were really pressed for time.

8. I'm wearing new jeans.

9. My kids slept until 9:00 AM!

10. Tyler just colored me a ferocious dinosaur picture and insisted I hang it above my computer.

Casualty

My dear, sweet tomato plant was a victim of tonight's vicious wind.

Success!

Look! I made something grow (with the help of my delightful neighbor, Kristy, who watered them while we were on vacation). The only other thing I've been able to grow successfully is children.

Eating Trees

Please notice that some of the "leaves" are gone from these "Trees" (Broccoli)

Ty only eats the leaves. He thinks the idea of eating the whole tree is comical.

Tyler wanted me to take a picture of him eating trees. He wanted to show his Dad.

Don't mind the cottage cheese residue on his mouth.

Nice green smile

This is how strong Tyler is after eating Trees.

Because broccoli makes you healthy and strong.

Although his Grandpa Morgan thinks broccoli is revolting.

And last but not least. . . . .

"How about a silly face mom?"

My Apologies

Dear Neighbors,

I apologize for the blood curdling scream you may have heard come from our direction tonight. Please, do not be concerned. We were not being hacked into unrecognizable pieces by a deranged intruder. Tyler and I were merely battling a massive man-eating spider. The villain nearly defeated us, but in the end, Tyler and I were victorious. We celebrated with high fives and cheering as we watched the offender swirl down the toilet.

Thank you for your concern.

With Love,

(your very noisy neighbor)

Carlye Morgan

Happy Mothers Day

Catching up - kind of

I haven't had time to blog lately, but here's a list of things that I thought about blogging about:

• My new weapon in sacrement meeting is this FANTASTIC quiet book my BFF Holly made us. It's awesome and Tyler loves it (thanks Holly!)
• I saw a midget run across six lanes of traffic on 700 East. It made my freaken day.
  
• A couple of days later, Tim and I saw an old man walking down the street with a big old parrot on his shoulder. I think he was a pirate.
  
• Do I really need to worry about the swine flu? Or is it just the media freaking people out? Maybe people wouldn't be so scared if it had a better name, like . . the diamond flu, or something.
• Do you ever watch the show Dragon Tales with your kids? What is with that show? Don't those kids parents ever realize that they go up into the play room and disappear? And what is with the spanish speaking dragons? Get serious people.
  
• Potty Training. It's just not happening right now. I can't make Tyler go to the potty. He has to want to go. He is extremely stubborn. 
• A conversation I had with Tyler at the store: 

 Ty:  I want fishy crackers
Me:  No, Ty you've been eating too many fishy crackers lately
Ty:   You're pretty Mommy

Me:  Okay we'll get some fishy crackers

• I tried to teach Tyler to play Candy Land. It went pretty well and we had fun. The only problem -- He cheats!!!
• We go through an 84 package of diapers every two weeks. That means we are going through 42 diapers a week, which is approximately 6 diapers a day. These are just Jaxen's diapers. As I already mentioned, potty training isn't happening with Ty right now. Think about how many diapers I change . . .(yes, Jessi I know you changed more than me with Hazel and the twins. HERE's a gold star). 
• Jax is such a happy and content baby. Tyler was kind of colicky and grumpy. So the comparison is fantastic. He even sleeps pretty good. 
• Tim just finished this semester. I am stoked. This semester he has been home for about a half hour a day. He leaves in the morning around 9AM, comes home for lunch at 2PM and has to leave for work at 2:30PM. He doesn't get home from work until Midnight. It's been rough. Next semester should be better. 
• I'm 23 and I have 2 children. Isn't that weird? 
• How do you floss a toddler's teeth? I have been trying but it's not very successful....
• Tyler and Jax were both recently sick with colds (not the swine flu). I didn't leave my house for six days. It was miserable. I was going crazy. Not to mention, two sick children = zero sleep. 
• We took Tyler to a place called Cookie Cutters to get his hair cut. It was fantastic. Not only was his hair cut good, but he got to sit on a motorcycle and watch curious george while they cut it. 
• Yesterday morning Tyler was eating toast and said, "Mom, there's blue on my toast!" I quickly checked it out and, sure enough it had some mold on the bottom (*barf*). The worst part is-- it was his second piece of toast (*double barf*)