Morgalicious Morgans

I got a list of these delightful random thoughts in an email from my friend Kristi. Now, on a normal day I usually delete these frequent forwards (not that I don't appreciate the thought . . .), but today, in an effort to ignore the Nesquick Strawberry powder that I just spilled all over my kitchen floor, I opened it. And read it. And I don't regret it. So I thought I would share a handful of them with you, my friends (also in an effort to ignore the overwhelming mess).

* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my
own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

* I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90
minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the
right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.

* How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die. (Holly . . .)

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.

* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

(My husband does this. I don't understand it. I never will)

* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

* Bad decisions make good stories

* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the
Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.

* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do
to with it.

* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time. every
time...