I Think My Kids Are Funny

"When people say long prayers during church, it is rude. It makes me homesick" -Jaxen Morgan


Jaxen brought a broken soap dispenser to my Dad and said, "This is broken, but Joncho's Dad is going to fix it".
Yes.... Joncho is still a part of our lives.


During General Conference, I told Jaxen that president Uchtdorf was from Germany. Jaxen laughed and said, "Like a pancake!"


Also during General Conference, I told Jaxen that the speaker's name was Perry. Jaxen said, "Like the platypus!"


Tim was rocking Madee to sleep. She likes to be sung to at night, so he started singing to her. She just looked at him and without saying anything put her fingers in her ears. He was offended.


Erick and Jaxen were playing trains at my parent's house. Erick bumped into Jax.
Erick: Oh sorry, Evan. I mean Jaxen.
Jaxen: That's okay. You can just call me Scott.


Tyler scored a goal at his soccer game. He ran over to us afterwards (to bask in his goal making glory) and Jaxen exclaimed, "Good job Tyler! You scored a girl!"


Jaxen was talking on a play phone to Joncho. He covered the mouth piece and said to me, "Did you know we're figuring out a way to go back to high school?"


On Father's Day my grandma was calling to Jax and saying, "Erick, Erick come here and give me a hug..." Jax looked really confused but eventually realized she was talking to him, because Erick was nowhere around. He went over and gave her a hug and she continued talking to him, calling him Erick (the poor dear is a bit confused these days). He kept trying to explain that he was Jaxen, but she wasn't listening, and continued calling him Erick. Eventually, he just sighed and said, "Close enough".


Jaxen came in the room wearing a monster mask.
Tyler: Look a scary monster! (Sarcastically... he's becoming very sarcastic, that one)
Jaxen: I'm not a monster. I'm just a guy in a mask.

Tim: You're pretty Madee.

Madee: You're pretty Daddy.

Tim (laughing): Oh Madee...

Madee: Oh Daddy...


Jaxen: What's the opposite of needles?
Me: I don't know? I don't think it has an opposite.
Jaxen: It's Noodles! Needles, Noodles... Get it?

I asked Ty what he thought of the homemade pizza I had made for dinner.
He said, "I liked it... except for the taste. It just didn't taste very good.".


Jaxen and I were walking home from his preschool one afternoon when he asked me,
"Can I ride my imaginary scooter?"
I said, "Sure".
Jax said, "Oh good! I didn't want to have to walk. I didn't want my legs to get tired".
He then proceeded to hold out his hands on imaginary scooter handle bars and run home.


I am incapable of parallel parking. This is a fact my children became aware of  when I made an attempt while meeting my friend Joni at a park in Salt Lake.
A couple of weeks later I parked on a curb when we were going to our school's back to school carnival. While i was getting kids out of the car, a car came and parked in front of me and another car came and parked behind us. Ty laughed and said, "Look mom! Those cars made it look like you can parallel park!".


Jaxen came into our bedroom after getting a drink out of the bathroom sink and said,
"I just tried cold hot cocoa"
Tim said, "Oh yeah? Was it good?"
Jaxen responded, "Actually.... it tasted like beaver hair".


I pulled in the garage after dropping both boys off at school. I opened the automatic van doors and Madee said, "Oh, bye friend! My friend had to go now".
Creepy.

I called for Madee and she came in angrily yelling,
"I'm not Madee! I'm Madee-Girl-Princess!!"

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them, makes an impression. -Dr. Haim Ginott

Kati wouldn't let Jaxen play with her phone. When he started to cry, Tyler said, "You broke his heart!"


I walked into the kitchen and asked Jaxen for a kiss. He obliged, and then held up his chubby little hand and said, "high five!"


"Do bubbles know where they're going?" -Tyler


"You have to give it to me, to make my sad face go away" - Tyler


While saying his prayers one morning, Tyler threw in the phrase, "One Nation under God.."


Jaxen calls his flip-flops, soup-slops.


I took a nap while Tim was playing with the boys. I woke up with Jaxen's freckled nose an inch away from my own, and he said with perfect clarity in a very sweet voice, "Mom, can you be a zombie?"
Apparently Tim had been pretending to be a zombie and "getting" them. Oh and ever since this occurred, Jaxen is kind of obsessed with zombies. Not that he has any idea what a zombie is, but he asks everyone to be a zombie.


Tyler: "Are my kids when I grow up living with Heavenly Father right now?"


Jaxen frequently walks in the room and says, "Let's talk about it..."


Tyler:" I'm going to go try and go pee"
Jaxen: "Go ahead Ty"
Me (laughing) : "Thanks Jaxen"
Jaxen: "You're welcome"


Tyler: "How old are you?"
Me: "25"
Tyler: Wow! Can you even count that high??"
I'm not sure if he was insulting my age or my intelligence....


Tim and I both noticed Jaxen had a "pooping face" one evening. When Jax noticed us watching him, he held up his little hand and said, "Just a minute".


Jaxen walked in the kitchen and opened his mouth as wide as he could in front of Tim and said:
"Look Dad"
Tim: "What"
Jaxen: "Look at my hiccups"
He then asked for a drink of water so he could "Wash his hiccups away"


Tyler's class had a woman from the sheriff's department come and talk to them about bike safety. Later he asked me if sheriff's deputy's carry guns. I told him yes and he said,
"Why don't they have light sabers?"

He says the darndest things.

Some of these are a few months old.
 I just found them saved on my computer.

Tim asked Tyler what he should eat for lunch and Tyler said, "A Taco"

Tim asked, "From where?"

Tyler said, "From your belly button"

Gross.

A very obese man walked by us and Tyler burst out laughing and said,

"Look at him!"

The other night Tyler prayed that I would call him Ty instead of Tyler and 

that he could become good at bowling.


"Carlye! I pooped!" -Jaxen Morgan


My boys were rough housing with Tim. Ty got hurt and came crying to me. I asked him what happened and he said, "I hurt my femur" pointing to the correct location of his femur.

Ty: The doctor Frightens me.

Tim: Do you even know what frightens means?

Ty: I forgot.

Tyler mixes up the word predators with creditors. He found a bug under a leaf and showed to to my Dad saying, "Look! The bug is hiding from creditors!".  Although maybe he meant to say creditors... maybe the bug has a credit problem that only Tyler knows about?

Me. Ty don’t touch the TV.

Ty: I’ll destroy you.

We were walking through Sams Club when we saw a couple with a severely handicapped  son in a wheel chair. Tyler pointed at him and exclaimed (with plenty of volume), "Look at that guy! He's dead!" I tried to quiet him and hurry down the isle, but he was insistent that this couple was pushing around a deceased individual. Probably not what those parents wanted to hear. . . .I was so embarrassed.

Ty was singing in the car, when Jax turned to him and said, "Good song Ty"

Tonight on the way home from my sister's house, Tyler started asking me about how he was going to get a house and a car after he got married. He seemed pretty stressed about it. I'm glad he's concerned about the future, but maybe he's worrying just a little prematurely.

Tyler thinks I am SO pretty

Tyler drew this picture of me a couple of months ago. I finally got my scanner working, so that I could share it with the world (or at least my mom). I think it's pretty fantastic. My favorite is my hair. He made sure I had some on top, and  couple of long strands ("because girls have long hair"). I was also pretty excited that he remembered I have ears. His drawings rarely have ears, but this time he went all out.

Santa Clause?

Tonight while saying his prayers,

 Tyler asked Heavenly Father to help him wait for Santa Clause to come....

"because it's so hard!"

Because my Mom says I need to write these things down....

* During dinner Tyler said, "Aliens drink green milk. I don't like green milk because it turns me into a frog."

* Tyler tripped and fell while he and Tim were walking to preschool. After getting he got up, he said,

                          Ty: I'm mad!

                          Tim: Who are you mad at? Gravity?

* Tyler was playing on the ground next to Jaxen's highchair while he was eating and Jax bent over to look at him and when he smiled a mouth full of partially chewed apple fell out of his mouth onto Tyler's head. Jaxen laughed really hard. 

So did I. 

Tyler did not.

* The other day Tyler was asking me about Jesus. He asked me if Jesus made him. I said yes. He asked me if Jesus made puppies. I said yes. Then he asked if Jesus would make a puppy for him.  Hmmmm... smart kid.  

*  Me: What did you do at recess today?

    Ty: A girl was trying to kiss me!

    Me: Oh no! What did you do??

    Ty: I ran away really fast!

    Me: Good.

    Ty: I only let big girls like you kiss me.

    (Kati, I guess you don't qualify as a "big girl")

* Dear Random Lady,

          Once again, I am so sorry that Tyler threw his sword and it hit you directly between the eyes as you were innocently walking down the street. I am so embarrassed. I can assure you that he lost his sword privileges for a very long time.

          Sincerely,

                 Carlye Morgan

* The other day at the grocery store, Ty spotted Captain Crunch Berry cereal. He wanted it and when I told him no, he started crying and screaming (repeatedly) at the top of his lungs, 

"I want colored poop cereal!" 

   If you don't remember what poop cereal is you can read about that here. People in the store were staring at us like I fed my child feces for breakfast and I just smiled at them like I was having the time of my life (which I wasn't).

* I know I've mentioned my children's pants-less-ness more than once, but I find it amusing that the first thing Ty does when we come home from somewhere is remove his shoes and his pants. He really doesn't think that pants are something we wear in the house.
Oh, but I feel it important to mention that Tim and I do wear pants in the house, despite Tyler's "No Pants in the House" policy.

*Today at church, during sacrament meeting, Ty threw a monumental tantrum because he wanted all of the bread. It was awesome....

*I could hear Jaxen yelling in the next room. He sounded quite distraught, so I went in to check on him. He was grabbing his diaper and yelling at it. Apparently his diaper was full and he really didn't appreciate it.

* "Daddy, why does my cheese sandwich turn into poop after I eat it?" -Ty

The post seemed lonely without a picture...

PS. Why does it seem like a lot of this post was about poop? Sorry about that...
PPS. Jaxen's hair cut pictures coming soon... he looks rather handsome.

He Says the Darndest Things

• I came into my room as Tyler was filling his hand with lotion.

          Me: Tyler!
        Ty: I'm getting lotion.
        Me: Don't get lotion unless you ask mom first.
        Ty: I asked my brother.
        Me: You asked Jaxen?
        Ty: Yeah. I said, Jaxen can I get some lotion? And he said yes.

• As we were walking out to the car after preschool Tyler said that his teacher made him mad. I then went on to explain to him that nobody makes him mad. That he chooses to be mad (maybe a little over his head but oh well). He didn't say anything more and got into the car.

           As we pulled into our driveway, Ty suddenly yelled,

"I CHOOSE TO BE MAD!"

• After Ty has potty success, he always says to me "I'm so proud of you Mom!"

• The other day Tyler was whining for poop cereal. I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. Finally he took me into the kitchen and showed me. He wanted peanut butter crunch. 

          Poop cereal???

• After preschool today, his teacher told me that he was telling all of the girls they were pretty. I asked him about it and he said, "Yeah, I told them they were pretty, and they said thank you."

• Tyler is convinced that in our wedding picture in front of the Salt Lake Temple, I am a princess and the temple is a castle. So when we were at my mom's hanging out with my sister, Kati, we had this conversation:

           Me: Is Kati going to get married like a princess in the temple?
      Ty: Yes.
      Me: Is she going to be pretty?
      Ty: Yes.
      Me: Who is she going to marry? 
      Ty: SUSAN!!!

Who the heck is Susan? 

Chef Tyler

"Mom Look! I'm cooking my brother!"

-Ty

PS. I still have pumpkins on my porch.

It's time to go home.

Me: I love you.
Tyler: I don't love you.
Me: Why not?!
Tyler: Because I am too sad.
Me: Why are you sad?
Tyler: Because I miss my daddy.

Good Job Mom

There are so many times during the day, that my kids do or say something that makes me think, " I want to remember that forever" (which, I think, definitely plays into my picture taking problem). Unfortunately, they happen so often, that (sadly) I know many of them are forgotten. Here's just a couple from today:

Me: Are these your toes?

Tyler : No

Me: Well what are they?

Tyler: They're magic beans!!!

Me: Do you want some cottage cheese?

Tyler: Yes! Did you buy some new cottage cheese at the store?

Me: Yep

Tyler: Good job mom. You're a super hero.

This is Tyler and his Mustache.