Rambling

Sometimes I am surprised at the fierce emotions my children bring out in me.
I don't consider myself an emotional person, but when it comes to my kids, everything I feel is intensified.
Whether it's the overwhelming adoration I feel when I check on their sweet, sleeping forms before heading to bed, or those "mother bear" angry emotions I feel when that chubby kid at the park pushes Tyler off his swing.
(There's nothing like being a parent that makes you want to throw sand in a 7-year-old's eye balls.)

My neighbor once told me, she knew she was a mother when she held out her hands for her son to throw up in. Who else would you catch vomit for, but your kids? Nobody, that's who.
It's an interesting thing, Motherhood.
So much of it is natural and instinctive.
But yet it can be utterly exhausting and difficult.
(Like when Jaxen had pickle diarrhea all over my pillow. Yes, I said pickle diarrhea).

I am so grateful for my experiences as a mother. It's allowed me to grow in ways I didn't know I could (and I am not referring to physical growth... okay that too, but that's another topic). I feel like I was so naive before I had my kids. I had no idea how much focus I had on myself, and myself alone, until that squishy, pink baby was placed in my arms and the emphasis of my entire life instantly shifted.

I wouldn't trade any of the adventures I have with my kids for the freedom I had before I became a Mommy. Not even the pickle diarrhea. I've learned so much from them. I'm stronger and I feel I have a broader perspective on life. I love the way I feel about my kids. I love those intense emotions they bring out in me.
I can't wait to have another baby.

Hmm... I think this might be where all this is coming from.
Pregnancy makes me sentimental.
Speaking of pregnancy, I am so so so glad to be feeling better. Those first few months are fairly miserable. It seemed like this pregnancy was worse, but maybe I just don't remember. Or maybe it was because I didn't have two small children to care for before. Either way, I'm tremendously grateful I feel like a human being again. A larger human being, but human, all the same.

**For those of my friends who are still in the "I want to die" phase of pregnancy (you know who you are), maybe (but probably not) this blog post will make you feel better. Oh or maybe this one.